you know the feeling of being "at the end of your rope," well, with a husband that has been working over 90 hours a week since the beginning of the year, I have been feeling that way for weeks. You know the feeling of just needing a break? But you can't take one because your poor children would starve? I have been feeling that way since around the middle of January. 72 hour shift upon 72 hour shift has left me feeling more than a little burnt out. So when this valentines day rolled around, a very little thing pushed me over the edge. I was supposed to be somewhere by 10 am on Tuesday morning, Jordan hadn't been home since Friday, and he got a late call, and I was for the millionth time left running around frantically, with my head cut off, trying to get out of the house with no help. It did not start for a very good day, we were going to the valentines day party at grammy's preschool, which Clara will be starting beginning of March. Want to make a good impression, don't know many of the mom's yet...do get there sometime around 10, but neither of us were showered or very presentable, which irks me to no end. Get home and Jordan is off running an errand with Coleton, but sitting on our nice clean countertop (which I had not left that way) was a beautiful valentines display, flowers, cards, candy, balloon, chocolate covered strawberries, both for me and Clara. I appreciated it. Put Clara down for her nap, and crashed for a nap myself. Jordan got home, and got Clara up, closed the door to our room, and entertained the kids for a while. I needed the rest. Went downstairs, he said he had arranged for a babysitter so we could go on a date, said I don't feel like going on a date, too tired to get presentable enough, and haven't even taken a shower. He said go take a shower and see how you feel, I was in a stubborn mood, too frustrated, going to stew and feel sorry for myself, I will not give in! Took a shower and then sat in bed and read my new library book for another couple of hours. He came up a couple times, can I get you some tea? No thanks. Do you want to go out tonight? No, not tonight. Want me to order the family dinner special from Mama Rosa's (my favorite thing by the way)? I guess, don't have anything planned for dinner (did not want to spoil actually eating out on a bad mood). He took the kids to town, got dinner, ran to the store to get some things we needed. My mood improved, I suddenly felt rested and was missing my family. Went downstairs, wanting to see them, still not home yet, they are taking longer than they should, rainy wet night on the roads, are they okay? A little panicking, Lord please don't let this be my punishment for taking a couple hours to myself, I will never do this again, just let them come home okay. They walk through the door, with yummy dinner in hand, and I scoop up my kids and hug them forever, I love my family more than words can say. I am so blessed. We ate dinner, put the kids to bed, rented Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 1, good movie, but can never take them too seriously and usually laugh at the serious parts. What I was convinced was going to be the worst valentines day ever...I was convinced to not enjoy the day one bit, turned out to be my all time favorite unexpected Valentines day ever. I have the most amazing husband and children, and I love love love them. The end.
